First Weeks:  What to Expect

Tired, homesick, and quiet

Your student will have a variety of exhilarating and tiring experiences prior to joining you in your home.  Orientation at Augsburg, the emotional high from being with all the other students, jet lag, physical adjustments to food and climate are just a few. 

REMEMBER:

Students will sleep a lot, and be tired when they're awake.

They may be very critical of American culture at times - they are constantly making comparisons and frequently the US doesn't stand up to "home" in their eyes this early on. 

They may have difficulty eating - some may make very strong statements about what they can / will and cannot / will not eat.  Don't force them, but offer the same food again in a few weeks. 

They may be very shy about speaking, and about asking if they don't understand something.  Be patient!

Family Rules:

Keep in mind that almost everything you do will be new for your student.  While it may seem silly, take time as a family to think and talk about your lifestyle and home.  You will soon discover that your family rules are much more than weekly duty lists and curfews.  The Host Family Checklist has been developed to help you clarify these types of rules with your student.

Rules include such things as:

Turn off the TV when you leave the room.

Make your bed in the morning.

Rinse off your dishes (or put them in the dishwasher) when you have a late-night snack.

Hang your damp towel neatly after a shower.  How many towels can you use at the same time and how often can you wash the towels?

Whether hand washed dishes are air dried or towel dried.

Not using someone else's hairbrush.

How long can you stay in the shower?  How many showers a day?  How long can you spend in the bathroom?

How late you can be before you have to call home.

It is also important to discuss topics which may affect your whole family or that have not had to be addressed by your family:  will the student get an allowance -- how much and for what duties?  Will the student be allowed to date?  What is a normal curfew for an 18 year old?

Many of these questions may be negotiated after arrival, but be aware of your expectations going in.  Also keep in mind that these kinds of rules are the hardest to identify and explain to others and that they are the ones that can drive you crazy and cause problems when they are broken.

Communication:

Communication is the key to everything.  No amount of attention, no amount of activity, no amount of money can replace it.  Good communication can prevent small issues from becoming problems. 

Key points to remember:

Speak clearly and slowly - - not loudly.  Be ready to rephrase your statements using different words that may be more familiar to the student if he / she doesn't understand the first time. 

Watch non-verbal cues as well as listening to verbal communication.  Don't ever be afraid to ask - if you think your student doesn't understand, or if you don't understand why he / she does something - ask in a non-threatening way (avoid accusatory questions). 

Encourage your student to ask anything - and don't laugh!  Foster an atmosphere of trust.  You can laugh, together, later - when the student understands what he or she did.  Watch for excessive communication (especially by telephone) from home.  If the student is getting many phone calls, talk to your liaison.  This can be disruptive to your student's adjustment. 

Communicate via mail with the student's natural parents.  A short note a couple of times throughout the year can do wonders for the relationship between families.  Parent-to-parent communication can add another dimension to the exchange experience, not to mention help the natural parents feel more secure about who their child is living with for a year. 

Household Orientation

Helpful points to follow:

Tour the house.  Let the student know what's off-limits (for example, don't go into parent's room without permission).  Also emphasize what IS within limits (for example, feel free to look through the kitchen cupboards if you want a snack).

Teach the student to use the household appliances in your home if he / she does not understand them.  If the student will help with laundry, teach him / her how to work the washer and dryer.  Explain your oven, microwave, stereo, VCR and any other "gadgets;" and expect to go over the complicated ones several times. 

Your shower may seem "tricky" to students from some countries.  Explain how to use it.  Make sure your student knows if they need to keep the shower curtain tucked INSIDE the shower.  In some countries, it's customary to have water all over the bathroom when you are showering.  If that's not your practice, make sure they know!  Also go over "restrictions."  For example, if there's only enough hot water for short showers, let your student know the limits. 

Provide the student with his / her own key to the house if your own children have keys.  Explain the use and reasoning - the student may be from a culture where everything is locked all the time, or where nothing is ever locked - AND THE HOST FAMILY MAY BE AT EITHER EXTREME!

Introduce the student to the neighbors.

Use your Host Family Checklist!

              AFS Involvement

It is vital to the continuation of AFS that the participants be active in local, regional and national AFS.

Remember, you are a part of the world-wide family of AFS. 

Help with your local chapter activities.

Encourage your student to participate in their school's AFS or International Club.

If there's something you'd like to see being done, suggest it!  If you have ideas that you think would add to AFS on any level, share them!!!!!