THE HOME CONNECTION (telephone, mail and the internet)

1.  It is natural and good for your AFS son/daughter to communicate with natural parents and life-long friends.  With years of experience under its belt, AFS has the following recommendations concerning connecting with home:

            a. While communication home is expected, too much home communication may cause difficulty adjusting to the new culture, increase homesickness, and decrease bonding with American friends and family.

            b. AFS says you may keep in touch weekly by mail/email, but phone calls should be for special occasions or no more than once a month of ½ hour in length

            c. Email and chat lines -  same issues of adaptation – recommendation:  max. 1 to 1 ½ hours weekly

            d. AFS recommends that phone communication frequency can be a topic discussed between the natural parents and you prior to departure (if  possible).

            e. Host family has no obligation to pay for long distance charges, but it can be worked out with AFS son/daughter.  Be certain phone rules and costs are understood Day 1.

2.   Comments/Observations on AFS Rules

            a.  Use of phone – set clear standards for frequency and time and cost  (some will call too much, some seldom, some will have set times parents call them)  you might offer 30 minutes a month “on the house,”  they pay the rest – it’s up to you. (Beware of year end when many calls may leave you a bill after they’re gone.)

            b. email/chat lines -  issue here is also time on computer, tying up phone lines, and prioritizing a busy computer.  Have clear rules from the start.  Home business needs and schoolwork are always the first priority.  Games, chat lines and email are secondary.  Monitor to see if chat lines are with American kids, or to the home country.  Too much chatting in the native language back home creates the same adjustment issues mentioned earlier.   Use of high school computers is harder to monitor, but many high schools will not allow the use of personal email/chat line activity.  If you do not have a computer, the public library will be an access place for your AFS son/daughter.

            c. Internet and Pornography – You should be very clear with your AFS son/daughter about this.   Tell him/her your attitude toward internet pornography before the computer is first switched on.    Most of you will have close to a zero tolerance policy, especially if there are younger children in the family. (But be a little careful to be too quick to judge if you find some porn, for even people who hate porn, will find it showing-up on their internet occasionally, or “friends” of your son/daughter will send it to them.  Deal with this immediately or talk to your AFS Liaison or Support person.)

3.  Shop around for telephone rates -10-10PhoneRates.com  (most expensive .40/min  as low as .03 w/mo fee)  Your phone co. may have “frequent calls to a country” special rates.  Check around.  Mailing things home is “pricey,” check with the post office.

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